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Glow

October 2017

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Glow

Sometimes, I just feel like screaming.
I just want to scream all my fustrations away. I know there are other methods of releaving stress, but gah. For once I just want to scream, and not just into a pillow.

I don't know what it is, but lately, I don't know. I guess I've been feeling depressed. Well, if you accociate suicidal thoughts with depressed, I'm a raving bipolar depressent at the moment.
God. I sit down to type out homework and I come up with about 20 differnt ways to dimembowl myself.
I aslo randomly feel like throwing myself off high places and lord knows how may times I've pulled out the scissors.

I can't blame all this on PMS and get away with it either. Usually, I feel like bouning off walls when I'm PMS'ing.

Gods it's almost like I'm schitzo. There's the high insane version of me, then there's the depressed fucked up version who wants to just curl up in a dark corner and die or something.

I try distracting myself. Hell. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows when you're depressed. But whatever I try, as soon as I get a tiny break from my distraction, I'm back to wanting to crawl into a dark corner.

Doesn't help much that my iPod broke again. Music seems to be one of the only things that can distract me for more than 30 minutes at a time. I guess I'll be having withdrawal symptoms tomorrow on top of everything.

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