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January 2019

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You know, just when life starts to look up, everything goes downhill.

Let me start a few days ago.

I was having a good week. Or, at least the beginning of it.

My spanish or... um, the speaking portions of my spanish midterms were cancelled. All my classes were kinda fun, Bob admitted to being over Gav, seemed happier, was generally more fun to hang around with, Ross was less clingy, and and science was totally fun.

Anyway, the week pretty well. This one time, JB and I had to tease Danna because of her Canadian sweater. Then this girl who I hate, I thikn her name's Julianne, starts annoying me to hell.

Now, this might seem bad, but JB and I were cracking up because she didn't get that I wasn't talking to her.

We tried asking Mrs. Swan for tape, but she didn't have any so I was bashing my head against the desk, and JB was saying that the day he could balance a sharpened pencil on a desk, I'd talk to her.

Then, come's Spencer's downfall in science. He gets a C in an ACC class he got into for being smart, and his parents were going to crucify him.

Spencer wanted me to cut down his body to have it buried, but JB and I were talking about buying vultures and Hannibal Lector methods of feasting. Joe thought this were pretty funny, and leaving science JB and I were talking about that research course the department was offering.

Anyway, Jb and I were walking down the hall, talking about psychology and mind control, when Jennie, who is walking away from her locker, spots me, and laughs. I almost hit her.

Anyway, I had a pretty good night, my mom not getting upset about me not wanting to take AP science next year.

When I woke up this morning, for some reason, I was in a bad mood. I get to school, and the day gets worse.

For some reason I fall deeper into depression, only funny point was when the strange kid proposed to Stace.

Spanish was horrible, and so was 3rd period.

I finally got my sugar rush in 3rd period, but that kinda wore off later.

Fencing seemed fun, I actually, I laughed. Seemed high.

Anyway, I come home, and it all hits me.
Life sucks. And it doesn't help that JB might be leaving. He's so much fun, and just when we started becomming friends. I never wanted to make anything out of my crush, but I still can't ignore it.

I really can't ignore it. 2 years and counting, and now, I'm liking him even more than ever, and I'm trying to ignore it.

I don't know if it would be better for him to leave or not, if he doesn't, I'd end up liking him more then ever, he leaves, it's going to take a while to get over it, but I think, eventually, I'd get over him.

I don't know how long. It took me 2 years to get over Jason, and all he was was a friend. I never had a crush on him, and it took forever to actually not miss him.

I wonder how long this is going to take.

I think that's why Bob told me a short while ago to ask him out, get shot down, and get over him. He probably get it considering he's kinda in the same position. Only, he's not as big of a coward as I am.

You know, maybe I should have taken my mom's offer to move to Bergan county. Even though I would have discovered that I love english way more than science, but I wouldn't have to go through this hell I'm in now.