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October 2018

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Review on HPPOA

Just saw HP: POA. It. Was. Utter. Rubbish. Highlight to read review.
Allright. First, Let me talk about the few good things in the movie.
1. Tom Felton- MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. He's definatly grown. Tallr, and hotter. He's pretty tall, and his hair's grown out into bangs that cover his forehead, and he simply glows. Probably because in most of his shots, the sun's shining on his hair, but hell. He's ravishing. Draco's definatly a lot wimpier in this movie than the other 2. He cringes more, wimpers a lot more, and run like a coward for 90% of his scenes. But, he manages to look hot while doing it. Tom I loved.

2. Sirius Black- At first, definatly not while I expected. He was activly insane. In the newspaper and wanted shots, he's screaming. What the hell. But, when he actually came out on screen, later on in the movie, he was excellent. He looked haunted, haggard, tired, insane, all at the same time. His acting skills are amazing.

3. Severus Snape- Ok. Alan Rickman is amazing. He's definatly gotten creepier in the 3rd movie, so bloody menacing and evil. I love Snape to death.

4. Emma Watson- She's definatly prettier than I expected. Her acting skills have improved, and she is the closest book to movie translation in the movie, which is saying a lot. Hermione has a funny tendancy to hang onto the guys in this movie, especially Ron. They were definatly laying on the Hermione like Ron crap on. Ron however, looks disgusted for most of these shots. Also, Harry has a tendancy to hang onto Hermione. Like, there's this one scene where the 3 are standing on some random hill that magically appeared for the 3rd movie, watching the exectuioner. After he swings his ax, Hermione cringes, and hugs Ron around the neck. Ron grimaces for a moment, and holdes Scabbers tighter. Harry than leans over to hug Hermione around the shoulders nd the waist. A lot of Emma's shots have her grabbing onto Dan, Rupert, and Tom's shirts. Lucky bitch. She also has a really good arm.

5. Buckbeak- he's the only hippogrif in the movie, and bloody hell I want it.

6. Rupert Grint- He's turned into the comic relief, but he's seriously hilarious. A lot of his scenes had me generally amused.

7. Dan- Dan's gotton better as an actor. Can't say too much for his looks though. He looks almost exactly the same in the 1st movie.

Allright. Let me launch into the movie plot, pointing out the bad parts there.

It starts out with the the WB sign, and a flickering light. You close in on Privet Drive, and Harry's window. Harry's under the covers of his bed, and this light is flickering. Suddenly, Harry throws himself over onto the pillor, pulls the blanket over, and pretends to sleep. Vernon enters, turnes the light on, thinksHarry's sleeping, and Leaves. Harry sits up again, and goes back under his covers. He has his wand out, using a lumos spell. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL! IT'S ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT HE'LL BE EXPELLED FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, next morning Marge comes over. You hear mention of the form for a moment. Harry manages to explode the glass and blow up Marge in one scene too. They kep marge's speeches almost exactly like the books, but she wasn't big enough.
Anyway, Marge blowing up is kinda funny, but it looked so fake. Harry storms upstairs, kicks the dest, and comes back ownstairs with his trunk. What the hell? He threatens Vernon, leaves. You see Marge in the sky for a shot. You see the the "grim" done pretty well, and the Knight Bus is pretty ok too. Ernie is pretty good.
Anyway, Fugde is horrible. Just horrible. Loos ok, words are ok, but acting is horrible. Monster Book is pretty cool too, but is introduces after Harry gets his room. What the hell? Then, Ron and Hermione are reintroduced in one of their spats. Hermy already has Crookshanks. You have Percy in a shot, and the Weasly newspaper shot. Really funny. Then, the whole Mr. Weasly and Harry convo about Black. Pretty ok.

The trane sequence os ok. Ron continues to be amazed by Hermy, Harry tells them about Black, and Dememtors come. Now, from far away, they look decent. A lot of fluttery black fabric shit going on, but pretty ok. But close up, oh my god! Did their computers break down or something? When they "attakc" Harry though, the effect is halfway decent. However, these things don't seem to have legs. They fly everywhere. ???

Lupin looks horrible. Well, more acuratly, he looks French. He looks nothing like that the picture I got from the books.

Back in school. Draco makes fun of Hary for fainting. Yummy DRACO!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, it seems the replaces Goyl witht he actor that played Treeace Higgs int he 1st movie. He looks a lot better.

Anyway, the new Dumbledore is a much better actor, and funnier, but doesn't look as good as the old one. Oh. They also had this random chrous singing in the beginning of the school shot. What the hell? The last part of their song was "double double toil and trouble, something wicked this way comes."

Where the hell did that come from?

Later that night, the griff boys are having fun eating joke candy. It's pretty funny.

Classes, are well, ok. The boggart lesson starrted out great. Seeing Alan Rickman in the whole granny outfit was hilarious. However, they did have Harry fae the creature. What the hell????????

Movie progressivly gets worse. Malfoy is the only light for the most of the movie. I'm being literal. He glows. MMmmmmmmmmmmmm. Also, Drco malfoy is a horrible actor. Hagrid buys the high pitched wimpers when his arm is cut by Buckbeak. It's pretty funny.

Crappy inacruacies continue. They have he dementor quidditch match. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THEY HAVE WOOD?????????? THEY DIDN'T EVEN MENTION HIM!!!! *very upset about the lack of scottish hottie*

Anyway, bla bla, more inacuracies. Fred and George are hilarous though. They fnish each other's sentenses, speak in unison, and are generally perfect. Baerly any inacruacies on character interperation.

Harry beats Malfoy's gang up, it's pretty funny, except when he knocks Malfoy down, and draggs him by the feet nearewr the shreaking shak. That's curlty to beautiful people.

Bla bla, more inacuracies. Lupin gets more and more fench throughout the movie. Then, you get to Hagrid's scene. the griff trio re heading down to Hagrid's hut, when they run into the slith gang on a hill. The entire hogwarts landscape has drastically changed. Hermion is about to curse Malfoy, who wimpers. (very hot, even though a coward) Realizing that using curses is a bad idea, she punches him in the face. He runs away with his goons. Hermione punches nicely. Thankfully, she didn't give Tom a bloody nose, marring his face. (Mmmmmmmmm tom)

Anyway, more inacuracies follow, the director lays on the Hermy Ron shippiness. Gods it's sickning. Then, you get Ron dragged into the tree. It takes forever for Harry and Hermione to follow. *Note. Dan Radcliffe is the worst when comming to falls. Looks gorribly fake. Emma again grabs anoyther boy by the short shen she grabs Dan by the chest when she is dragged upwards by the womping willow.

Then, you meet Sirus. Oh lord hew was great. Just perfect.

Oharry Sirus intimate scene was great, but again, they lay on the inacuracies. The werewolf is the most fakest wolf i have ever scene. It almost looks as bad as the dementor. After that, tons of more inacuracies, and the whole dementor attacks harry and sirus scene. They're laying on the inacuracies here.

*Note. It's just great when Snape is actually awake again, and is about to yell at the griff trio, when he realises the werewolf is behind him. He turns around, and puls his arms out, sheltering the kids behind him. It's actually a pretty cool scene

You get to the hospital, and the time turner sceene comes up/ It looks nithing like an hourglass. Ron is actually awake in this scene, and when Dumbly comes in to takl to they, there's a funny Ron scene. Ron's foot is all bandaged up, and it's propped up, and Dumbledore kinds bangs on Ron's wounded foot. The second tome, you can see Ron's trying not to yell.

Ok. They manage to save buckbeak, but Hermy has this really funny line. She hiding in these trees, behind their past selves, and Hermy's like "Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?"
Just so random.

Anyway, tons more inacuracies, Harry does manage to conjour a patronaus. *Note. Every other time Harry conjours a patronaus, it looks kinda like a weird dish. When Harry casts one to save himself and Sirus, you never see the stag from his pov.

They save Sirus, and return to the hospital room.

Next day, Harry goes to see lupin. Pretty ok in terms of staying true to the book.

Now, you expect the movie to end or something. No. You gedt this totally random scen where Harry gets hi firebolt. What the bloody hell????????????

Then, you get Harry on the broom, and the movie ends.

This movie is nothing but one big giant inacruacy. Only bright spot is Tom. (Mmmmmmmmmmm) Tom Felton rocks. I'm also questioning if the director ever read the books. It was just to painful to watch. (Execpt for Tom. MMMMMMM)

Note. I highly recomment not wasting your time at the movies watching this. Unless of course you want to see it for Tom. Is movie is utter fucking crap, and I wouldn't even bother giving it a rating. It was just too painful too see such a great book destroyed like this.

*Note* One last time, Tom was great, but I still want my scotish hottie.